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Man Voted 'Most Likely to Be Crushed to Death Trying to Steal a Catalytic Converter' Crushed to Death Trying to Steal a Catalytic Converter
A man once voted 'Most Likely to be Crushed to Death Trying to Steal a Catalytic Converter' by his high school classmates was crushed to death while attempting to remove a catalytic converter from a vehicle outside a residence in Tulsa, Oklahoma this morning.
Discovered by the car's owner, the near decade it took 27-year-old Michael Avery Smith to fulfill his apparent destiny surprised many who knew him.
"Mike laughed about the yearbook thing, and honestly, it was probably because of it that he lasted so long," Chris McCormick, a former classmate remarked. "For years he did other things to support his meth habit. Porch pirating, shoplifting, even kidnapping pets for the reward money – all trying to prove people wrong."
Nevertheless, Smith inevitably succumbed to the lure of the catalytic converter and the valuable precious metals they contain, spelling his youthful demise.
"I'd say he'll be missed, but that would be a lie. I had my catalytic converter stolen once, and it cost nearly two thousand dollars to replace. Fuck that guy," McCormick said.
According to Smith's mother, who at first denied being his mother, his flattened body will be disposed of 'however whoever does that kind of thing does it'.
"Toss it in a dumpster for all I care," she said.
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