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Trump Warns of Extreme Heat, Fire, Storms if Biden Elected

President Trump warned today that extreme heat, fire and other catastrophic weather events will be commonplace across the country if Joe Biden is elected President in November.

"You'll see heat and fire like never before. You won't believe it. There'll be storms, so many storms they won't be able to name them all," he said this morning on Fox and Friends. "They'll run out of names. Mark my words. They'll be calling these storms things like 'Xylophone' and 'Pepperoni'."

"Watch out Florida, here comes Hurricane Pepperoni. Its now a Category 57 thanks to people voting for Joe Biden," he said, auguring a cataclysmic future should he not win re-election. "Uh-oh, here comes Hurricane Pastrami. Probably shouldn't have voted for Sleepy Joe."

Trump went on to admonish that voting for Biden would be tantamount to worshipping a false idol.

"That's what causes these things. You worship a false idol, someone who's a fake and only cares about himself and his own interests, and bad things happen. Things like fires and storms and plagues. Its all in the Bible," he said.

"Its like on the 5th Season of American Idol. When Taylor Hicks won over Katharine McPhee," he remarked. "What was that about? No wonder that show failed. Nobody watched it after that. Really, a total disgrace."

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