And... They're Divorced

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux are ending their 13-day marriage, agents for each of the Hollywood stars announced today.

"This is not the future we envisioned, and it is with heavy hearts that we move forward separately. Therefore, we kindly ask for privacy and compassion concerning this very personal matter," a press release issued by Westwood Entertainment, representing Aniston, read.

Although the split wasn't formally declared until the pair's return to the US Thursday, the couple was rumored to have been on the outs after the second half of their Bora Bora honeymoon turned sour last week.

"There was tension," one anonymous source revealed. "I believe Jen favored the private bungalow facing the coral reef over the one on the turquoise lagoon. Also, there were disagreements over whether ceviche should be prepared with lemon or lime juice and the region's annual rainfall."

"It's just a shame. I thought their story was written to last," Aniston friend and Friends co-star Courtney Cox remarked. "I mean, for at least two or three years."

In addition to other irreconcilable differences, Theroux reportedly had sex with a concierge who worked at the Four Seasons at which the couple was staying, two of the resort's maids, a masseuse, and conceived a child with a yoga instructor over the course of their 12-day honeymoon.