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Bachmann Presidential Exploratory Committee Vanishes in Arctic Circle Search parties continue to scour the vast Canadian arctic for survivors of Michele Bachmann's Presidential Exploratory Committee after it went missing somewhere in that vast, desolate wilderness last month. "The almost immediate resort to cannibalism is alarming to say the least," remarked Canadian Arctic Ranger Commander David Hitchcock, "Unless found quite soon, I am afraid these people will continue to aimlessly wander the barren landscape, subsisting only on one another's flesh." A note attached to Kesler's remains stated: "Tried to shoot a seal. Alex was much easier. So sorry." As of noon today, Bachmann officially changed the vanished committee's status from "exploratory" to "lost". She has yet to reveal whether she plans to form any future committees. |
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