"The Interview" Trails Staring at Wall in North Korean Ratings

North Korea's latest weekly entertainment ratings service shows the film "The Interview" still trailing almost all other forms of available amusement in the isolated nation since a balloon airlift campaign started delivering hundreds of thousands of copies of the movie from the south last month.

According to the report, an empty wall topped North Korea's ratings for the 2765th week in a row, while watching grass grow and pigeons walk around a broken patch of concrete were second and third in the ratings, respectively.

"The Interview" earned a meager 1.8 share amongst those who had received a copy, just edging out watching your baby starve to death, but lagging behind the 2 share garnered by garbage floating in the wind.

"I tried watching 'The Interview', but turned it off after five minutes," one North Korean man commented, "I could tell from the lame 'Eminem is gay' premise that it was going to suck. Luckily I have a window and am able to watch pigeons walking around a broken patch of concrete."

98% of anonymous North Korean respondents who had seen the film indicated that it reinforced their appreciation for being denied access to western culture.

Meanwhile, the North Korean government, which has labeled the film "an act of terrorism" is the 94th nation to do so.