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Texan Minorities Claim Ballot Bonus Questions Biased Towards White Voters

Some Texas voters are calling foul on a series of bonus questions included on their ballots they claim are designed to give Republicans an unfair advantage in this year's midterm elections.

One of the questions, which references a Jimmy Buffett song: "___________ in Paradise" and offers voters three multiple choice options: A. Cheeseburger, B. Quesadilla , and C. Ice Cream Cone, is biased in favor of white voters, one Texan of Latino heritage complained.

"Hispanics and black people don't know about Jimmy (expletive) Buffett," the woman fumed. "Only white people know about that (expletive)."

Meanwhile, the inclusion of the bonus questions themselves, the successful response to all of which would result in its ballot being counted twice, is being investigated by the Democratic Party.

"This type of ancillary trivia is definitely worrisome," an attorney with the DNC remarked. "Certainly, if bonus questions with potentially impactful significance are to be included on a ballot, they should at least cater to a broader cross-section of society, as opposed to questions about The Big Bang Theory and Kenny Chesney's Christmas album."

Still, Texas Director of Elections Peter Bancroft has downplayed the outcry.

"We've already looked into the issue and there's nothing at all racist about these questions," Bancroft said. "And everybody knows Jimmy Buffett sings 'Ice Cream Cone in Paradise'," he winked.

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