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Chicago Bears Declare Themselves MNF Victors Despite Scoring Less Points

The Chicago Bears declared themselves the victors of their clash with the Minnesota Vikings on Monday Night Football last night despite having scored six less points than their NFC North rivals.

"WE WON THE GAME!" Bears' General Manager Ryan Pace tweeted this morning, referring to the back-and-forth struggle that ended with a final score of 19-13 in favor of the Vikings.

Citing 'numerous irregularities' and 'compelling allegations of cheating' by Minnesota, the Bears proclaimed themselves the rightful winners, improving their season record to 6-4.

"For starters, there were more penalties called on our side despite the fact that the Vikings were holding all night long. Possibly because the head referee's niece is dating a University of Minnesota graduate," Mark Radcliffe, an attorney representing the Bears argued.

"Also, we've heard from several witnesses that say that they've heard from several reliable sources that the Vikings all use steroids, which would be a violation of the league's rules against performance enhancing drugs," Radcliffe said.

Pace, who claims that the unfair treatment he says his team suffered last night is nothing new, contended that the Bears should be awarded this year's Super Bowl championship.

"Honestly, that would be the only fair outcome. The only way we could lose would be if everyone else cheats," Pace said.

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