CIA Begins Auditioning Potential Bernie Sanders Assassins

The Central Intelligence Agency has started auditioning lone gunmen to assassinate Bernie Sanders should he be elected in November, insiders say.

Though the Presidential election is still months away, Sanders' stronger than expected showing in the nation's early primaries has the agency stepping up its readiness to potentially deal with the leftist leader.

"At the CIA, we believe in being prepared," one high-ranking CIA official remarked. "The probability of a Sanders presidency might still be relatively low, but finding the right man for the job could take several weeks should it become necessary."

According to the same official, the ideal candidate for the role will have some affiliation with a fringe political group or militia, be "slightly off" but not completely deranged, and have a middle name that can be used posthumously.

"Like Leon Earl Stevens, or Michael James Harvey," the source said. "Also, they don't actually need to do anything, or even know that they've been hired."

Finally, though the CIA encourages those interested in the position to demonstrate their qualifications in their everyday life, has emphasized that they will not receive any applicants at their Langley, Virginia headquarters.

"Basically, don't call us. We'll find you."