Rookie Congressman Bullied on Captol Hill

Being elected to Congress was a dream come true for Representative Tom Rasmussen (R, GA), but so far his experience on Capitol Hill has been more like a nightmare.

Since arriving in Washington D.C., Tom's wife Christine says, Rasmussen has allegedly been bait for a pack of mean congressmen and women who have made the rookie representative of Georgia's 14th district a target of incessant attacks.

"Almost every day Tom calls me from one of the Capitol Building bathrooms in tears," Christine said, "He says a bunch of the other congress people are yelling at him and making fun of his policies."

Mrs. Rasmussen added: "He says things like he wants to come home and not be a congressman anymore. It just breaks my heart."

According to Rasmussen, one congressman made fun of a bill he introduced that would have criminalized miscarriages, calling it "draconian" and "stupid".

"That was my first piece of legislation," Rasmussen sniffled, "I never want to introduce another bill ever again."

On another occasion in the Capitol Building cafeteria, Rasmussen says he was eating a bowl of Senate bean soup when a group of legislators sat down at the table next to him and began making jokes about his hair.

"They were saying I wear a hairpiece, laughing that it looked like a dead animal and wondering if I'd shot it with one of the assault rifles I love so much," he said, "One of them called me 'possum head'."

Linda Sanchez (D, CA), a ranking member of the House Ethics Committee, indicated that she was aware of the situation involving Rasmussen, and that it would be addressed, "Because every member of Congress deserves to be treated with respect, even douche bags like Rasmussen".