Christian Corner: With Jerry Luebke and God

I Have a Personal Relationship with God
By: Jerry Luebke

I like to consider myself someone who has a personal relationship with God. I love Him, and I know He loves me too.

Unlike most human relationships, having a relationship with God is the easiest thing in the world, because He is everywhere. He's in the wind that blows, the flowers that bloom, and the food we eat. He's in the love we have for our children, and he is in this message I am sending, because he invented the internet. God is everywhere, you just have to let him into your heart.

I believe the greatest thing God wants to hear from us is, "I love You, Lord. Thank You for everything You've done in my life. I want to do what is right. Please keep teaching me." I tell him this every day.

Knowing God loves me and being grateful for what He's done and is doing in my life is the foundation of the relationship I have with Him, and this relationship is what sustains me here on Earth. Thank you Lord!

I'm Going to Kill Jerry Luebke
By: God

Yeah, I know Jerry Luebke. Lives at 1735 Stonecrest. I'm going to kill him soon. Car accident. Was thinking of having a drunk run him off the road and crash him into a tree. Whammo! Should be pretty awesome.

Or maybe I'll give him cancer. Let him die all nice and slow. I gave his Beagle cancer last year, forced him to put it down, and he thanks me. Thanks me! For giving him the years of companionship he had with the mutt. Little did he know I only did that so it would be that much more painful when I whacked the fucker out.

I'm telling you, this Jerry is a real creep. All day long with the 'I love you Lord', 'Thank You for everything, Lord', 'Keep teaching me, Lord' baloney. What a pussy. Want me to teach you something, Jerry? How about I teach you to fly? Straight through the windshield!

Sappy twat. You love me so much, come suck my prick.