ISIS Member Infiltrates Alabama Cracker Barrel

Despite efforts by their state's government to shield them from radical Islam, a member of the terrorist organization ISIS has infiltrated a Cracker Barrel restaurant in Brownsboro, Alabama, some of its patrons say.

"He was in there this morning, I saw him waiting tables," one woman from nearby Gurley reported. "He smiled at me and asked me if I wanted more coffee. It was terrifying."

The man, identified as recent Cracker Barrel hiree Dhanpal Singh, is a naturalized American citizen from India currently pursuing a degree in Biochemistry from the University of Alabama at Huntsville.

"Today I come to work very happy. Very happy indeed," Singh said. "I like to work for the nice people and bring them coffee and food. I am most happy."

Singh's enthusiasm notwithstanding, scores of Cracker Barrel customers have already lodged their concern and outrage with the company for hiring a member of the terrorist group.

"Cracker Barrel is a family restaurant. I bring my children there," one man complained. "Now I'm supposed to guess which day this Muslim psycho is going to choose to start poisoning the food?"

Responding to the backlash, Vice President of Public Relations for the restaurant chain Marie Connors addressed the media this afternoon.

"The fact is, Mr. Singh is Indian – with a dot, not a feather – not that that's important," Connors said. "At Cracker Barrel Old Country Store, we celebrate, value and respect the diversity of our workforce, whether they be white, black, Oriental or other."