Houston Rockets Scrap Defective Chinese Center

The Houston Rockets scrapped defective Chinese center Yao Ming this morning, effectively ending their hope of salvaging something from their faulty Asian import.

Originally marketed as an "invincible slam-dunk super-player" by China’s ambassador to the NBA, Ming was slated to be sidelined all of next year after already having missed 99 games since being acquired by the Rockets in 2002, proving himself less of an indestructible superstar as a constant source of problems and aggravation for his team and their fans.

"You can always count on Yao. To break down when you need him most," remarked one disgruntled Rockets fan, "He reminds me of this Chinese smoke detector I got once. Damn thing would go off every time I cooked spaghetti, then one night the kitchen caught on fire, and nothing. Yeah, he’s a piece of crap."

Despite an affidavit signed by China’s quality assurance auditor of exportable food, drugs, toys, tires, chemicals, medical devices and basketball players that states, "Yao still good", Rockets General Manager Daryl Moreyis has resolved to cut his losses.

"You get what you pay for, I suppose," said Morey, "From now on I’m sticking to American and European players. Sure, most of the Euros can’t do much more than shoot the three ball, and some of the Americans spend as much time in legal court as the basketball court, but at least they don’t start falling apart the week after they get off the boat."

Added Morey: "Like this Chinese bedspread I got once through the mail. The thing was round. I mean, how do you screw up a bedspread? Unbelievable."