Report: Investigation Discovery Channel to Run Out of Murders by 2013

A new report estimates that the Investigation Discovery Channel (ID) will run out of murders to document by 2013.

Featuring an expanding roster of original series dealing primarily with true crime investigations, the increasingly popular channel's 24 hour schedule has been documenting homicides faster than America's murder rate can perpetrate them for several years.

"Extrapolating backwards, America's peak murder rate occurred in early 2009," stated media criminologist Patrick Leaf, "Unfortunately, the country's consumption rate of stories about people killing each other is far outpacing that which people are committing those dramatic crimes themselves."

Experts say signs of post-peak murder have already begun to show on ID, specifically in the form of episodes that feature boring murders and even cases whose charges were reduced to manslaughter.

Cited Leaf: "The latest episode of 'The Devil You Know' was about a man who accidently ran over a man in his car, while a recent case that aired on 'Disappeared' told the story of a young woman who was found hiding in her friend's basement."

Leaf also dismissed the idea of importing foreign murder stories.

"Nobody gives a shit about people who get killed in other countries," he said.