|Home||World||National||Opinion||Local||Entertainment||Home And Garden||Advice||Farts And Giggles|
Family Sends First, Final Christmas Card
Relatives and acquaintances of the Brown family of Lancaster, California were surprised to have received a Christmas card from the cloistered clan this holiday season.
The card, featuring a rare photo of the Browns captioned, "Merry Christmas, Fuckers", will purportedly also be their last.
"Thinking of all you with abhorrence these final days," the card's rambling, type-written missive begins, and ends seven pages later with the valediction: "See you in hell. We'll be there soon."
Peggy Brenner, a former longtime neighbor of the Browns, was one of the card's recipients.
"I hadn't heard from the Brown's in a long time - which actually includes the last couple of years they lived next door," Brenner said, "I was pretty excited to read their card, until I got to part where it calls me a whore."
Amongst other highlights, the card also reads: "Tom lost his job this year. It's been a real struggle. Not that any of you give a shit... Nathan found his first love. Got his little heart ripped out and spit on."
Some who've retrieved the dark seasonal salutation from their mailboxes this week were less than impressed with its contents.
"Goodbye cruel world, our blood is on your hands, nobody will even miss us, yada, yada, yada," scoffed Angela Brown, Tom's sister, "To tell you the truth, I skimmed it. The first page, anyway."
|Home Owners Association Bans Stroke Victim|
|Shaky Global Economy Sends Kitty Prices Soaring|