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Peter Fonda Presumably Killed in Mass Shooting at Retirement Home

Two-time Oscar nominee Peter Fonda died yesterday, presumably in a mass shooting at a Los Angeles-area retirement home.

Though details have yet to emerge, it can be deduced that the 79 year-old Easy Rider star was one of possibly a dozen or more residents and staff killed when an as-yet identified shooter stormed the nursing home in which he was living and opened fire with a high-powered assault rifle.

"A white man, probably in his early 20s since it wasn't a school, likely entered the care facility in which Mr. Fonda was living and started shooting, possibly because there was a Mexican working there," FBI mass murder expert George Gallagher described. "It happens almost every day now, and you know, whatever, I guess."

Fonda, who acted in over one hundred films and directed three more during his illustrious career, was battling cancer and once survived a mountail lion attack before being shot to death most likely while playing checkers with a fellow resident in the retirement home's common area Friday.

"It's sad, but then again, I guess everyone knows by now that its only a matter of time before we're all randomly shot to death," Gallagher said.

Fonda is survived by his sister Jane, who has managed to live an impressive 81 years without being murdered.

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