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Frustrated Consumer Has Seen All The Porns
Frustrated consumer Greg Brengle took to social media today to call attention to the porn industry's sluggish resupply of new porn on the internet.
"Seriously, can we get some new porn, plz?" he posted on Pornhub.com's message board. "Just whacked off to the same daddy-daughter-anal-camping video for the second time this week."
According to the unemployed 58 year-old, the internet's snail-like production of pornography has him constantly scouring dozens of hardcore websites for new X-rated material every minute of the day.
"It sucks," he said, sweating. "I've seen 'Russian Babysitter Gets Crammed Up Her Shit Pipe by Strapped-On MILF Mom' probably seven times."
"Also, I've seen 'Troublesome Teen Gets Cream-Pied by Teacher After School', 'Curious Teen Gets Cherry Popped by Stepbrother by the Pool', and 'Elderly Woman Takes it Like Champ Up Her Rusty Meat Pocket from Hung Healthcare Professional in the Tub' like five times each," Brengle said.
Data indicates that an estimated 2,000 new porn videos are uploaded onto the web every minute.
"I know. Exactly," Brengle twitched. "I mean, how hard is it to slap a couple cheerleaders' outfits on a pair of maladjusted 20 year-olds and have them eat each others' boxes for five minutes?"
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