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Republican Hunger Strike Enters 121st Minute

A hunger strike being waged by over one hundred Republican congressmen and women has entered it's 121st minute, its participants announced this morning.

The strike, which reportedly aims to raise awareness of and support for GOP positions in the ongoing fiscal cliff negotiations, started at 9 am this morning and is presently inching closer to the lunch hour.

"I did optimistically pack a lunch today, but unless President Obama agrees to sign a new budget that doesn't include any increase in taxes in the next 59 minutes, I'm not going to eat it," said Rep. Mark Tenney (R, IN)

Tenney added that he also skipped breakfast.

"I wasn't aware the strike didn't start until 9, so I didn't have anything to eat this morning, either. Not even a danish," he said.

A doctor who examined many of the strikers indicated today that many have begun to lose basic brain functions and have started to complain of symptoms of starvation.

Lamented Rep. Tom Clemens (R, MO): "We've tried to do right by America, but the Democrats won't let it be. Perhaps some day the tragic consequences of their actions and what they have driven us to suffer will be known and they'll be sorry, but it will be too late."

 
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