Lady Gaga Adopts Moon Child

Known for her audacious fashion statements and flashy onstage persona, Lady Gaga took a bold step into the realm of parenthood this week when she adopted a 4 year-old boy from the moon.

The boy, named Wing-Ting, or "Unwanted Child", speaks Chinese and possesses an acute sense of magnetism, but is almost completely blind and is missing half of his right arm – an injury he suffered at the beak of a moon tortoise while scavenging the lunar surface for sustenance after his parents were both crushed by a meteorite.

"I'm so happy to have the opportunity to give this child a second chance at life here on Earth – where he is very much wanted," gushed Lady Gaga, "Which is why from now on I will call him Googoo."

Many analysts predict the adoption of Googoo could reset the bar for adoptions by celebrities, who have up to now mostly limited their scope to children living in Africa, Southeast Asia, Haiti and impoverished regions of the United States, all of which possess a functioning atmosphere rich in oxygen.

"Not to put down what the Angelina Jolies and Sandra Bullocks of the world have done, but this boy is something truly special," remarked TMZ's Kaly Price, "After all, as bad as Tasbeckistan or South Vietnam or wherever might be, these places at least offer more than trace levels of water and more to eat than dehydrated ice cream. My hat goes off to Lady Gaga and the members of her personal space expeditionary team."

A Gaga rep says Googoo is healthy and happily adjusting to life on his new planet.