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Active Shooter Defeats Democratic Challenger in Mississippi Governor's Race

Dan Lipskey won another four years as the Governor of Mississippi despite spending Election Day shooting up a Whole Foods in Gulfport Tuesday.

Lipskey, who devoted much of his first stretch in office working to restore the institution of slavery in the Magnolia State, handily defeated his Democratic challenger Michelle "The Jew" Wilkinson by 18 points even after killing six and wounding 12 at the organic grocery store the same morning.

"Dan's for the little guy, not the big city Jackson bureaucrats," one Powers voter remarked. "Dan's the man."

Surprisingly, analysis of real time trending as well as exit poll results revealed that Lipskey's rampage actually improved his showing at the ballot box.

"I see something like that and I think, here's a guy who's serious about the 2nd Amendment," one man said. "That, and he's pro-life. We've got to protect our unborn kids."

Lipskey, who is currently recovering from several bullet wounds that he suffered during his spree, will reportedly return to the Governor's mansion upon his release from the hospital.

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