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Grandmother Shamed

Local grandmother of six Carol Macey was made the victim of a public grandma-shaming at the home of one of her three daughters Saturday, the 75 year-old has reported.

According to Macey, the summertime barbeque she was attending at her youngest daughter Allison's house was proceeding normally until her eldest daughter Vanessa made a remark that Macey felt impugned her mothering practices.

"Vanessa was preparing some kind of strange snack for my grandsons Aiden and Flannery when she felt it worthwhile to mention, in her words, 'all the crap' I used to feed her and her sisters, which evidently included such deadly poisons as gluten and corn syrup," Macey recounted. "Gasp."

The remark, which reportedly triggered several other less-than-favorable memories from her children, led to a cascade of judgments from both Allison and Vanessa as well as several other younger mothers in attendance of the get together.

"I let them watch Star Wars at too young of an age. I let them play outside unattended. I didn't make them wear a seat belt every time we drove five blocks to the grocery store. I let them use a real baseball bat to hit their pinatas. I didn't do my 'due diligence' vetting their babysitter Denise, who graduated magna cum laude from UCLA and is a pediatrician now by the way, because she could have been some kind of sex trafficker," Macey said, rolling her eyes.

"It's no wonder my grandkids are such pussies," Macey added. "Not to mention why it takes so fucking long to crack a pinata around here."

Both Allison and Vanessa Macey corroborated their mother's depiction of their childhood, adding to it their speculation that their other sister Elizabeth's helmet-less fall from her bike in 1989 could be responsible for her inability to maintain long-term relationships with men.

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