Home World National Opinion Local Entertainment Home And Garden Advice Farts And Giggles  

                Links Advertise Contact

Jeb Bush Announces Candidacy for President

Jeb Bush, a middle-aged to elderly-looking male with glasses, announced his candidacy for President today.

Appearing before several onlookers, the man declared himself the most accomplished leader in the 2016 field, vowing to wage war on Washington's political culture and insisting that his family pedigree gives him no unique claim to the Oval Office.

According to Wikipedia, Bush is related to former presidents George W. Bush and George H.W. Bush, who are his brother and father, respectively.

The same Wikipedia page, which is written in Jeb Bush's name and contains his picture, indicates that he served as the Governor of Florida for a period of time and has already been running for president since June after previously declaring a bid for the White House several months ago.

"I stand before you on the precipice of history," Bush spoke to a small congregation of reporters and passerby outside a Boot Barn in a Des Moines, Iowa shopping mall this morning. "The stakes for America's future are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah."

"Whatever," one shopper remarked.

Barbara Bush, presumably Bush's mother in light of her relationship to George H.W. Bush, reportedly gave a "Like" to Jeb's new campaign page on Facebook.

 
Read More

Gun Owner Successfully Defends Home from Kitten

Ted Cruz Replaces Daughter for Presidential Campaign Run

Fucked Up Family Circus