Toys For Tots Accepts Obscene Jive Talking Jesus Doll - War On Christianity Confirmed?

Just one week after rejecting a talking Jesus doll, Toys for Tots has infuriated the Christian Church by accepting a hostile, foul mouthed, jive spewing knock-off version of the toy for distribution to children of needy families this Christmas.

The risque toy at the center of the brewing storm, marketed by its manufacturer RadiCo as "Jive Talkin' Jesus", regurgitates vulgar and sacrilegious ebonic phrases in place of the Bible verses of its counterpart when its user activates the doll's digital audio chip by pulling his finger.

"'Love thy neighbor - especially if she got that badonkadonk booty' is not an appropriate message for a child, especially when it's emanating from the mouth of the son of God," proclaimed Margaret Crowder, vice president of the Christian Anti-Defamation League (CADL), "Toys for Tots decision to accept a doll that depicts our Lord and Savior as a low-rent guttersnipe who says 'b' and 'f' every other word is unconscionable, and only provides more evidence that a war on Christianity is being waged in this country."

Indeed, Toys for Tots and RadiCo have been besieged by complaints from thousands of the God fearing livid over the likeness of their Lord and Savior giving voice to such offensive statements as: "I was born of immaculate conception. Yo momma a ho", "Fuck that ferry shit - my six-fow drive on water. Me and my bitches be rollin' to Hawaii", and one which follows the sound of a stomach grumbling with the crass announcement, "Damn, I got to take a mad shit, homie!".

Toys for Tots defended their decision to accept the controversial toy, but hasn't ruled out discontinuing its distribution in light of the resulting uproar.

"While the original talking Jesus doll was rejected out of concern for it being distributed to a non-Christian household who might find offense, Jive Talkin' Jesus was viewed as secular and harmlessly kitcsh in nature," remarked Toys for Tots representative Janice Lundquist, "In fact, some of its messages seemed quite redeeming, for example: "Don't give yo momma no lip, son", and "The devil is a mothafuckin' liar, so I aint worried beeotch!".

Added Lundquist: "However, considering the volume of the negative feedback we've received regarding our decision, the luck of some unfortunate kids out there just might continue in a downward trend if we're forced to pull the Jive Talkin' Jesus and they get an Alan Greenspan Prudent Portable Penny Bank instead."