Home World National Opinion Local Entertainment Home And Garden Advice Farts And Giggles  

                Links Advertise Contact

Everybody Wins National Spelling Bee

Every student who entered the 2012 Purina Puppy Chow National Spelling Bee clinched the title yesterday by attempting to spell words.

8th grader Andy Crouch was one of the 110 contestants to make it through each of the 6 rounds and tie for first place by spelling the word "nawlejable".

"Spelling bees are stupid," Crouch said, "Fuck words."

The bee's organizers praised each of this year's winners, calling the competition a big success.

"I think the kids all discovered a new appreciation for spelling, and that makes them all winners in our book," bee announcer Susan Bovill exulted.

Bee co-winner Allysa Paget, 13, who asked Bovill to repeat the word "indulgent" twenty times before spelling it "Gofuckyourself", disagreed.

"Susan Bovill is a stupid bitch," she said.

Paget, Crouch and each of the bee's other 108 winners will receive a trophy for their spectacular achievement.

 
Read More

   

Inmates Wanted: New Private Prison Announces 3,000 Openings


    Taylor Hicks Announces Plans for Summer Suicide Attempt

    Mitt Romney Courts Women's Vote by Turning into Lady