Little Leaguer Released By Family, Replaced With Star Dominican Shortstop

After another disappointing performance in the Little League World Series, 12 year-old Daniel Gorman was released by his parents Stephen and Patricia this Wednesday after officially clearing waivers at midnight that morning.

Gorman, who hit an anemic .235 with no home runs, 5 RBI and 7 errors in 16 games with the Pembroke Pines Yankees during the regular season, performed even worse in the post season, where his nine strikeouts in nine at bats and two throwing errors in right field contributed heavily to the team's early exit from Southern Florida regional tournament play.

"I liked Danny. He had really cool video games, but he just didn't bring his 'A' game to the ballpark. He was always twirling in circles or kicking at the grass in the outfield instead of paying attention, and he had no plate discipline - in our last game that we lost by two runs he struck out with the bases loaded swinging at a pitch that hit him in the helmet," remarked ex-teamate Michael Spelman, who added, "And everyone knew he only made All Stars because his dad works with Coach Jim (Shields)."

Gorman's lackluster post-season play likely figured heavily in his not being picked up off waivers by another household, including even those of his kindhearted Grandmother Florence or his devoutly religious Aunt Rebecca, meaning that the ill-favored outfielder will be reduced to signing on with a team affiliated with either an orphanage or foster home for the 2006 season.

Meanwhile, the Gormans wasted little time unveiling Daniel's replacement - Rafael Taverez, a 5'8, 150 pound thirteen year old Dominican refugee the family finished adopting earlier this morning.

Stephen Gorman commented on the transaction, "Daniel was a great kid. He made good grades in school and always did his chores without complaining, but there was just no way of getting around the huge hole in his bat. We stuck with him for seven years since his first days in tee-ball, but it became plainly obvious after awhile that he just wasn't going to develop into the player we had hoped he would."

Continued Gorman: "But with this Teverez kid, we know we're getting real quality. He has a rocket arm and swings a mean stick. He hit over .500 last year in Santa Domingo with 13 homers while going 10-0 on the mound before his mother sealed him in a cargo container on a ship bound to Miami. Our only dilemma in the years to come will be whether we concentrate his practice time on developing his hitting skills and fielding at short or begin grooming him to be an ace pitcher."

Despite Gorman's diplomacy, many local Little League baseball fans were less magnanimous with their assessment of the younger Daniel in the wake of his exit from the family.

"He stunk," snarled a caller to a Miami sports radio show, "He choked constantly on the field and he even choked once on the bench - literally - on sunflower seeds. I for one am glad he's gone. Good riddance. He was a bum."