Lifelong Republican Voter Has Nerve To Request Treatment For Genetic Disorder

Columbus, Ohio - A woman fond of insinuating into conversation the fact that she has never voted for a single political candidate not belonging to the Republican Party in her entire life actually had the audacity to seek treatment for a genetic disorder she recently began manifesting symptoms of, her physician reported.

According to Dr. Samuel Weiss, the woman, 54 year-old Pamela Schroeder of nearby Lancaster, looked him straight in the face after being informed that she had Huntington's Disease, a genetic neurodegenerative disorder, and literally asked flat out, without compunction or any detectable hint of irony, if there was a cure or treatment for her condition - implying that she would have no qualms in accepting it despite the GOP's history of hindering biomedical research by slashing the federal research grant budget of the National Institutes of Health and obstructing the progress of stem cell technology.

"My jaw dropped when she asked me that. I really couldn't believe my ears," Dr. Weiss, "I mean, here's a lady who has proudly supported a political party that's done about as much damage to the research science industry as it could get away with over the years, and she has the nerve to traipse into my office and ask for a cure for her genetic disorder? Man, what a slut."

Added Weiss: "It took every ounce of my constitution as a professional to refrain from suggesting she just head home, pop in her favorite Iraq War highlights video and treat what's left of her brain to all those big, neat, fiery explosions our taxes paid for and she loves so much before she forgets how to use a VCR. Of course, being able to apprise her that there isn't a cure for Huntington's helped a lot."

Although Weiss and his colleagues claim such incidents are surprisingly common, he says he never fails to be astounded by the temerity of his more dogmatic right wing patients.

Recalled Dr. Wiseman, "Just last month I had another patient who'd become alarmed when she kept dropping her favorite Pat Robertson bobblehead doll while trying to give it a haircut. Turns out she has Parkinsons, and guess what? Suddenly modern science wasn't so bad after all. Of course I'm sure once the levodopa I prescribed her starts to diminish her tremors she'll naturally give all the credit to Jesus, the dumb broad."