October 6 , 2005           [home]  [contact]  [links] [disclaimer]

Young Harlot Goes Topless On South Carolina Beach – Triggers Pandemonium

Mount Pleasant, SC – Local harlot Trisha Van Sant removed her shirt and pranced topless along Jones Beach yesterday, causing an uproar that continues to reverberate throughout town.

The incident began shortly after the five-year-old Van Sant arrived at the beach with her mother Susan, who sat idly by while her daughter proceeded to disrobe and apply oil to herself in a fashion most eyewitnesses described as ‘highly provocative’.

“I watched her as she removed her t-shirt… and there was nothing underneath. When I saw her nipples I grew faint but somehow made it over to my young son who was playing in the sand nearby to throw a towel over his head. It was unspeakable – I still find myself trembling just talking about it,” commented one woman who viewed the spectacle.

What Do You Think?

"The child is lost. Sadly, anyone who has so little respect for herself at such a young age has no hope. She should be destroyed quick out of mercy and her mother should be killed in the slowest, most painful fashion possible for what she's done" - L. Humphries, San Marcos, TX

"My dad didn't storm the beaches of Normandy so girls could run around naked on the beach. Well, maybe on beaches over there, but that's their business - over here us girls should stay covered" A. Bauer, Norfolk, VA

According to those who know her, Van Sant, who went on to parade her near naked body through the tidewater and collect seashells in a lascivious manner for several minutes before finally being seized by Jones Beach Patrol agents as she was constructing a phallic shaped sand structure, has a history for such scandalous antics.

Recounted Debra Howell, a neighbor of the Van Sant’s, “Trisha used to come over to our house to play with my little girl until one day I looked out the window and saw them chasing my teenage son around the yard, trying to pull his pants down. Later my daughter told me that trollop put her up to it and she hasn’t been back since.”

Added Mrs. Howell: “But first and foremost I blame the mother. You raise your child to be a whore, they’ll grow up to be a whore.”

Not everyone is in consensus that young Trisha’s mother is primarily to blame for her risqué behavior, however. Some feel that it is the fault of the media.

“Such behavior amongst the young is a product of the smut factory that is this nation’s pop culture. Is there any question left that the chickens from Janet Jackson’s exposed breast are coming home to roost?”

Mount Pleasant District Attorney’s office has as yet declined to confirm whether criminal charges will be filed against either of the Van Sants, each of which remain in police custody as of press time.