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Redskins Running Back Alfred Morris Suspended for Being Member of ISIS

The Washington Redskins have cut running back Alfred Morris and the NFL has suspended him indefinitely after it was revealed that he is a member of ISIS.

Morris, who was initially banned for three games after a report linked him to the Sunni terrorist group and several acts of murder and infanticide during the off-season, saw his penalty increased after a video surfaced of him smashing a baby's head against a rock.

"The Islamic State will force the Great Satan to its knees," Morris said.

Still, Morris has his supporters. Ethan Calder, who drafted Morris to his fantasy team Sunshine Sparklehorse in the second round after picking also now-embattled running back Adrian Peterson first overall and Ray Rice in the 8th, stood by his man.

"So the guy's a member of a radical jihadist movement, big deal. I say what a player does off the field is his own business," Calder remarked, "I mean seriously, what's next, kiddie porn on Randall Cobb's hard drive?"

As of five minutes ago, Cobb, Calder's top wide receiver, had indeed been arrested for being in possession of hundreds of images of underage children in various modes of undress.

 
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