Bodies of 72 Boys Found in Barn Owned by the Most Interesting Man in the World

The remains of 72 decapitated young boys were found at a ranch in northern Mexico belonging to the most interesting man in the world after a neighbor who lives two miles away complained of the smell, police say.

The bodies, the limbs and genitalia of which were all dismembered and rearranged to form new headless, hybrid little boy bodies that were then sexually abused, were discovered above ground in a barn on the property.

Police report the neighbor who registered the complaint was arrested, then released at the behest of the most interesting man in the world, who recognizes the capacity of others to make mistakes.

The most interesting man in the world commented on the contents of his barn from Lincoln, Nebraska, where he won every gold medal in this year's Special Olympics despite lacking a mental handicap, "I don't always murder and sodomize young children, but when I do, I prefer Mexican boys with freckles."  

Experts predict that the revelation that the most interesting man in the world is a sadistic necro-pedophile will only enhance his renown, as such a thing is extremely interesting.

"Frankly, I'm jealous," remarked Mexican Secretary of Public Security Gerardo Casillas, "I'd be absolutely thrilled to be mutilated, raped and killed by that man."

The second most interesting man in the world, Dale Mitchell of Grandview, Washington, who drinks beer constantly regardless of brand despite having no job or evident source of income, could not be reached for comment.