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Nation Longs for Return to Normalcy of Constant Worrying About Death Virus

As tensions continue to build between protestors and the police over the death of George Floyd two weeks ago, many across the nation find themselves yearning for the recent simpler times of only having to constantly worry about contracting COVID-19.

"It seems like just yesterday my only worry in life other than losing my job and becoming homeless was the possibility of catching a death virus that would suffocate the life out of me. Those were the days," one man pined.

Indeed, while the conflict between marginalized minorities fighting social injustice and an unyielding autocratic leader persists, prompting many experts to compare the state of the country to that of a failing nation, Americans can only cast a nostalgic gaze backwards to when an out-of-his-depth President was merely bungling his response to a global pandemic.

"Coronavirus is scary, but you know, as long as you stay away from people and don't touch your face and everyone you live with does the same, you shouldn't die a slow, painful death of choking on your own bodily fluids. The President being seemingly hell-bent on starting a civil war in order to pander to his base is far more concerning, however," remarked another man.

"Perhaps the Corona victims are the lucky ones," the man continued. "Maybe I should blow my brains out and save myself some misery."

Still, despite the added layer of worry to their lives, the response of the average citizen to the raging dumpster fire that has engulfed the country remains mostly the same.

"Basically hunker down and hope we survive until January," shrugged one woman.

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