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Video Games Causing Seniors to Think They’re Wizards, Fairies Obscurity RatesStudy: 99.9% of Americans Suffering from Obscurity - A new study indicates that, despite their very best efforts, most Americans are not at all famous. A collaborative effort between over one hundred researchers in twenty laboratories on fifteen campuses across the... (More)        
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Black AstronautNASA’s Announcement of Plan to Put Black Man on the Moon Takes Country by Mild, Restrained Surprise After asounding the nation yesterday with the announcement that the United States plans to return to the moon by 2010... (More)      
   
Fucked Up Family Circus
 
         

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Poll: 4% of Americans Vampires    
“God Hates Cripples” Says Christian Fundamentalist Group    
In the wake of the video game industry’s recent demographic busting expansion, millions of elderly Americans have begun dropping their bingo cards and picking up Wii and Xbox paddles - only sometimes with unnerving consequences, a new report shows. In contrast with the ambiguous influence video games exert over its younger enthusiasts... (More)
New Pfizer Study Reveals Majority of Infants Clinically Depressed
Big Crybaby Released After Being Wrongfully Imprisoned 20 Years    
  Limb Dismemberment Craze Excites Teens, Worries Parents    
  Real Estate Agencies Resorting to Bloody Gangland Tactics    
  Diebold Voting Machines Come To Life, Attack Democrat Voters    
  Government Plan Offers Incentives for Abortions, Suicide    
  West Virginia Cracking Down Against Illegal Immigrant    
Bin Laden Begins Threatening Americans Individually Via Email
Right-to-Life Families Refusing to Give Up on “Dead” Relatives
   
American Pregnant Olympics Team Loses Corporate Sponsorships
Elementary Schoolers Fail Simulated School Shooting Drill Miserably
Dying Child’s Play Costs Louisville Bowl Game – Grave Desecrated
 
Donald Rumsfeld Torturing Wife at Family Home
Republican "Frankenstein" Candidate Attacks Obama During Debate
Mutation Responsible For Aversion To Retarded Pop-Culture Found