North Carolina Announces Successful End to Campaign to Get Creed to Cancel Concert

North Carolina repealed a controversial ban on transgender individuals using public bathrooms of their choice today in what Governor Pat McCrory is now calling a successful campaign to avoid a Creed reunion concert from happening in their state.

Known for such songs as "Higher" and "With Arms Wide Open", Creed announced Thursday that they had cancelled their Sunday show in Charlotte in protest of the law, and have since moved on to their next tour stop in Norfolk, Virginia.

"On behalf of the government of North Carolina and the entire Tar Heel State, I would like to apologize to the nation's transgender community for any inconvenience or distress this bit of deception may have caused," McCrory remarked. "I am also sorry to all those Springsteen, Pearl Jam and even Boston fans who saw their shows cancelled throughout the state, though, considering the alternative, I feel fully vindicated in this case that the ends have justified the means."

McRory went on to cite several health hazards Creed shows present to the public.

"The last time Creed played in North Carolina several pregnant women in the audience suffered spontaneous abortions and a bear came out of the woods surrounding the ampitheater and mauled a security guard," he said. "Also, thousands of birds killed themselves by flying into buildings and cars, causing three fatal accidents on Interstate 485."

North Carolina's Lieutenant Governor Dan Forest added his defense of his administration's reputation.

"Of course it doesn't matter who uses what bathroom. There are stalls in there," he said. "It's not like we're complete idiots."