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"My Octopus Teacher" Guy Announces Split with Octopus

After weeks of staving off gossip of their having split, the octopus guy from "My Octopus Teacher" confirmed today that he and his mollusk fiance have called it quits.

"It's with deep regret and sorrow that I announce that Molly and I are no longer together. We shared three wonderful years which I will always treasure, but have ultimately decided that we work better as friends," the guy, whose actual name is Craig Foster, said.

Foster, who fell for his co-star while filming the Netflix psuedo-documentary "My Octupus Teacher", denied rumors that their breakup was triggered by an affair that he'd had with a seahorse.

"Absolutely not. I would never have sex with a seahorse. That's disgusting," Foster - who did later acknowledge that he has started dating a dolphin - insisted.

Meanwhile, news of Cramolly's uncoupling has come as a terrible shock to their supporters.

"Oh, I just loved that movie. And to find out that the octopus hadn't really died and that they were getting married in real life, that was just so heartwarming," one fan emoted. "But now, this? And right on the heels of A-Rod and J-Lo? What's the world coming to?"

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