I’m Going to the Big Disney World in the Sky!
By: Benjamin Sherman - A Retarded Man on Death Row

Hi! My name is Benjamin!  What’s yours?  Do you like to color? I do. The policemen let me color while I’m in time-out for being bad.  Do you like policemen?  I do.  When I was young I went to the police station with my school and got to ride in a police car.  They even let me turn on the siren.  Policemen are really cool! 

Well, one policeman wasn’t so nice.  Actually he was really mean.  The second time I went to the police station when I was older this mean cop was there and he yelled at me and told me how I’d never get to go to any more baseball games with my best buddy and eat cotton candy or go to Wendy’s again if I didn’t tell him what he told me to tell him but couldn’t because I was so sad.  Luckily there was this other cop who was cool like all the rest who kicked the mean cop out of the room and helped me say the words I needed to say to get out of there.  He even promised I’d get to go to Disney World!  He was really happy when I finally got the words right which made me very glad and we were really happy together.  I like to make people happy.  Do you?  I do.  I try to be nice all the time and make people happy but I guess sometimes I forget, which is why I’m in time-out.

The police where I’m serving my time-out are very nice too.  They helped protect me from some of the other people doing time-out for being bad who were being mean to me by giving me my own place where I am safe.  They also taught me how to make vanilla ice cream come out of my body and have lots of fun guessing between each other how fast I can make it.  Policemen sure are cool.  Not like judges.

Do you know what a judge is?  They dress in black and yell at people.  Judges are really mean!  This one judge told me that I had been very naughty and that I was going to die because I’d been so bad.  Then later, a bunch of my police friends told me that a bunch of other judges said it wasn’t right for people like me to be let out of their misery and that instead I should have to stay in time-out forever and ever.  I told you judges are mean!

Luckily, my cool police friends told me that they’d help make sure that I’d get out of here as soon as possible.  They say that a man is going to come to give me a test to see how smart I am, and if I’m smart enough, then all I have to do is go to sleep, and the next thing I’ll know – poof!  I’ll be able to go to this great big Disney World in the sky that never closes where I can eat all the candy in the world and there aren’t any mean judges. Whoopee! 

So it’s been nice meeting you, but now I have to go.  I need to study for my test!