|Home||World||National||Opinion||Local||Entertainment||Home And Garden||Advice||Farts And Giggles|
Debate Corner - Does the Rising Cost of Food Justify Resorting to Cannibalism?
In light of the recent economic downturn and rising prices of gas and food, should a temporary moratorium on laws banning cannibalism be passed in cases where the source of food perished from natural causes?
My Nanna Is Not For Dinner
So the economy is lousy and a lot of people out there are hurting. Trust me, I know. I'm personally acquainted with or know somebody who knows more people who've lost their homes in the past year than I can count on two hands, and my husband and I can hardly afford to keep food on the table since losing my job three months ago, let alone help pay for my terminally ill grandmother's nursing home bills and various medications.
That being said however, I would never, ever eat my Nanna. Regardless of what the cost of a gallon of gas or milk happens to be, or what the price for a prescription of aldosterone happens to rise to, I'd sooner starve than stoop to such a level. The woman lived through one depression without resorting to eating her relatives, I think its the least we can do to duplicate the courtesy.
My Nanna is not for dinner.
Eat 'Em Up!
Now, I'm as compassionate and sentimental as the next guy, but considering the ass licking my retirement portfolio just took in the stock market on top of what things cost these days, I gotta vote 'Yay' on this whole cannibalism idea.
I mean, Christ, have you been to the market lately? $1.99 for a head of lettuce? $6.50 for a pound of ground beef? If we're talking about people who've just passed away from natural causes, then why not? They're dead already, what good is it to just put them in the ground to rot and go to waste? I say eat 'em up!
I'm telling you, my father died of a heart attack last year, and the difference the money we could've saved by making casseroles and sandwiches out of him for a month instead of paying six grand to put him in a box and lower him into a hole boggles my mind. By consuming and digesting him his essence would become part of us forever, and I wouldn't be selling shares of Qualcomm in a down market to pay my son's college tuition, that's for sure.
And hey, why stop at humans? Every day thousands of cats and dogs are euthanized around the country. Why can't we eat them? And what about horses like Barbaro and Eight Belles who die in horse races? It would at least be some minimal compensation for hard working people like me who wagered large sums of money on these nags to win just to watch them break their friggin' legs.
|99.9% of Americans Suffering from Obscurity|
|Study: Children Need More Vitamin Shut the Hell Up|
|McCain to Hispanic Voters: "Your Donkey is on Fire"|