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My Boy Would Like to Apologize for Shooting Your Son in the Stomach
By: Rich Sanders

Hey, there's the little guy. You feeling better champ?

Oh, he can't hear us? Well, I'm sure he'll pull through just fine. Regardless, my boy here wanted to come by to apologize for shooting your son in the stomach. Isn't that right, Zach?

Zach? Get your hand out of your pants, Zach. Tell the man you're sorry for shooting Jacob.

Zach, don't look at the floor. Look at Mr. Robbins… there you go. That's nice. Now doesn't that feel better? And once again Mike, I'm sorry about this terrible accident. I…

What do you mean it doesn't make Jacob feel better? Listen, we can come back once he's conscious if that's what you… well, let's not get overly dramatic here. The doctor said that?

Well, be that as it may, and I wasn't going to bring this up, but I think we both know that Jacob wouldn't be here in the first place if he'd gone down like he should have when the boys were using their toy guns. Yeah, that's right. Zach said he got Jacob several times, and your son denied it. Claimed he missed - like my son couldn't hit a stationary target from five feet away with a machine gun. That's bullshit is what that is.

Let's go, Zach. And give me back my Glock.

 
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