I Find Porn Disgusting And Immoral - Two Seconds After I Come
By: Shaun Roundtree

Call me a prude, but I’ve got to say that the porn that’s going around these days is pretty fucking disgusting. In fact, yes, I think I’ll even go so far as to hoist myself atop my high horse to proclaim it IMMORAL.

That’s right, all you twisted freaks out there (you know who you are). I’ve seen the depraved filth you watch by the mega-terabyte on the web, and you should be ashamed of yourselves. This morning on a site that shall remain nameless I saw a foul-mouthed elderly woman get dumped from her wheelchair and gang fucked for twenty-two minutes and thirty-one seconds by three men purported to be her grandsons eager to prove their "hole cramming" abilities to Grammy in exchange for the entirety of her inheritance (which consisted of sixteen dollars and a pair of false teeth she took out to suck their cocks), and let me tell you, I almost puked two seconds after I came.

Seriously, what is wrong with the world today? Are these kinds of videos not a symptom of a spiritually defunct planet? My friend emailed me a link to one of these PETA YouTube spots that features a number of Japanese men dragging a bunch of netted dolphins out of the back of a truck and beating the hell out of them with sticks, and I cry nearly every time I watch it after ejaculating into a paper towel.

Yes, it is a sad state of affairs, this globalized society of perverts and psychopaths spreading their filth through the internet, international mail order, and the Persian owned mini-mart on 36th and Atlantic in north Long Beach. I’ve actually considered doing something about these things I find so reprehensible, like promoting a boycott or starting a letter writing campaign, but I tend to lose interest after about half an hour.