Rick Perry Seeks to Lure Biotechs to Texas with Free Burner Thingies, DNA

Governor Rick Perry of Texas has upped the ante in his ongoing campaign to lasso biotechnology companies from California and the east coast to his state.

Already offering a minimal corporate tax and no income tax, Perry announced this week that he will also offer companies who make the move to Texas deep discounts on lab supplies, among other incentives.

"In addition to no corporate taxes, any biotech company that moves to Texas will receive a 90% state subsidized discount on those burner thingies with the knob and free DNA for one year," Perry said, "Also, I can all but promise a beautiful Texas wife for all the male scientists who like girls."

In a thirty second radio ad currently running in San Francisco, San Diego and Los Angeles, Perry touts his state's abundance of cheap labor, delicious barbeque and lax environmental regulations as additional inducements for relocating to Texas.

"Texans are hardworking and eager to learn," Perry proclaims, "And once y'all are done with your experiments, you can throw your hazardous waste right in the lake."

Governor Perry refers all interested parties to the website Texas - Bending Over for Business, which also contains content in Mandarin and Cantonese targeting owners of Chinese industrial concerns.