President Bush warned the nation’s elderly today that, amongst other horrible outcomes, a failure of his planned privatization of the country’s Social Security system would inevitably result in legions of electronic homosexual robots rampaging through the streets, sexually assaulting and eviscerating senior citizens.

“I sincerely regret having to resort to disclosing such unpleasant information,” spoke the President at an appearance he made in Omaha, Nebraska to promote his Social Security plan, “But the fact is that these abominable metal terrorists are amongst us, and the only way to continue to keep them at bay is through ensuring the long term viability of our nation’s Social Security program by allowing its future contributors to allocate part of what they pay in to private stock and bond accounts.”

According to officials within the Bush administration, the robots in question are ghastly eight foot tall beasts with jagged aluminum teeth that consume prescription medication for fuel and tend to fulfill their depraved proclivities for homosexual robot-human intercourse and murderous bloodlust on the elderly because they are slower and easier to catch.

Later in his address in Omaha, Bush stunned his largely senior audience with video footage of a pack of the robots at work in a nursing home in which they were seen ransacking the medicine dispensary and marauding the aged residents, tearing off their limbs to use as clubs to batter their gray heads and twitching, hunched over bodies in a shower of blood before finally defiling their near dead persons in ways which a prudent publication such as this couldn’t possibly describe without sickening and forever alienating its good readership.

Proclaimed the President in his closing remarks: “But it doesn’t have to be like this! The smoking gun of our failing Social Security system doesn’t have to be a mushroom cloud of our oldest and most vulnerable citizens being violated with metallic phalluses and disemboweled by evil robots! With your support we can vanquish these barbaric buckets of bolts for good!”

Added Bush in a question from an audience member regarding why nobody had ever seen one of these robots before: “Because they live in caves… guarded by stock brokers in their spare time.”

Reportedly, Bush’s new ‘evil robots’ campaign seems to be proving effective in swaying the opinion of many elderly constituents.

“Oh, those robots sure are frightful,” remarked Ethel Grimes, 84, of Bismarck, North Dakota, “I saw one on television slapping a woman my age around like a drunk Johnny Carson at a cocktail party. I sure wouldn’t have wanted to be in her orthopedic shoes.”