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Satanist Party Supply Chain Cites Hobby Lobby in Decision to Cut Xmas Pay
Party supply chain store Party Palace announced today they will discontinue their observation of December 25th as a public holiday, and will no longer pay employees who "refuse to work on that day so that they may worship a false prophet".
The Satanist-owned chain, Oregon's second largest retailer of party supplies, decorations and fun-time solutions, cited the Supreme Court's recent ruling in Burwell vs. Hobby Lobby that for-profit employers may opt to not comply with federal statutes they find incompatible with their sincerely held religious beliefs.
"We sincerely believe Jesus is a whore," remarked Party Palace President and CEO Dennis Chatwood, "Fuck that guy."
Chatwood, who went on to call the Virgin Mary a "lying slut", stated that his company would still offer ten paid-holidays per year by replacing the Christmas Holiday with the celebration of Belphegor on April 15th.
"One of the seven princes of hell, the demon Belphegor represents the deadly sin of sloth, which seems appropriate. He seduces men through laziness and easy wealth, by way of the party supply industry, for instance," Chatwood said.
Party Palace employee Michelle Ferguson, who is a Christian, says she has no problem with her company giving Christmas the boot.
"As long as they keep paying my health and dental they can celebrate Lee Harvey Oswald's wedding anniversary for all I care," Ferguson said.
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