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Amy Schumer Enters 5th Trimester of Difficult Pregnancy

Amy Schumer announced last night during a stand-up appearance in St. Paul, Minnesota that her difficult and very public pregnancy has entered its 5th trimester.

"I really hope this is the last one. I'm not too sure I can take more than three more months of this, guys," she remarked after vomiting on the stage.

"It's been pretty crazy. I barf literally a hundred times a day and still I've managed to gain 87 pounds. But what do you expect? I've been pregnant since Steve Bannon was still in the White House," she said.

Schumer, who ended the show prematurely after announcing to the audience that she had, "filled her diaper," said that she is very much looking forward to finally giving birth to the child she conceived with her husband Chris Fisher in 2017.

"Seriously, am I a fucking giraffe, or what?" she asked the mesmirized crowd. "My hemorrhoids are so big I look like a Kardashian. My cellulite's so bad its attracting Chinese lunar rovers," she said.

"Get this god damned thing out of me!" Schumer cried.

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