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Latest 7-Point Plan to Reinstate Donald Trump Slightly Less Outlandish

Days after a 7-point plan to restore Donald Trump to the presidency was handed out at the Conservative Political Action Conference, a second, less outlandish version detailing how Trump can regain the White House has begun circulating among conservatives. It reads as follows:

1. Utilizing select security clearance to purchase ultra-diodes and ultra-capacitors used in the development of directed energy weapons, construct a toroidal confinement mechanism within a shielded fusion reactor.

2. Acquire a mercury-based super-conductor containing suspended niobium particulates. Cool to -450F within toroidal confinement chamber.

3. Careful to counterbalance superfluid plasmas, electromagnetically drive mercury solution to a minimum of 70,000 rpm and 250 atmospheres of pressure.

4. Enter centrally located cockpit between counter-rotating superfluids.

5. Through wormhole generated from zero point field, travel back in time four years.

6. Be less shitty president.

7. Get more votes than Joe Biden.

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