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Phone Calls Prompt Trump to Back New Berlin Wall, Fund Latvian Superhighway
President Trump continued his string of puzzling policy proclamations this afternoon with a tweet supporting the restoration of the Berlin Wall.
Posted minutes after taking a call from Russian President Vladimir Putin, Trump wrote: "Whatever happened to that wall between East and West Germany? So big and beautiful. Rebuild that wall!"
The latest surprise out of the Oval Office followed a series of other recent calls from various foreign leaders, including a second conversation with Turkish President Recep Erdogan - after which Trump declared his belief that the hundreds of thousands of Armenians exterminated by Turkey during World War I committed suicide.
"I think they all killed themselves. I really do. Why wouldn't they?" Trump remarked.
Over the course of the previous 48 hours, Trump has also endorsed the re-annexation of Montenegro by Serbia and gifted $3 billion to fund the construction of a superhighway in Latvia.
"I'm a fat orange lard who likes to prance around in women's clothing," Trump announced after a teleconference with a group of Serbian leaders. "Also, Bosnia and Croatia are dumb."
Speculated one member of the press: "Wow. Sounds like someone got pooped on in Belgrade."
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