Home World National Opinion Local Entertainment Home And Garden Advice Farts And Giggles  

                Links Advertise Contact

Phone Calls Prompt Trump to Back New Berlin Wall, Fund Latvian Superhighway

President Trump continued his string of puzzling policy proclamations this afternoon with a tweet supporting the restoration of the Berlin Wall.

Posted minutes after taking a call from Russian President Vladimir Putin, Trump wrote: "Whatever happened to that wall between East and West Germany? So big and beautiful. Rebuild that wall!"

The latest surprise out of the Oval Office followed a series of other recent calls from various foreign leaders, including a second conversation with Turkish President Recep Erdogan - after which Trump declared his belief that the hundreds of thousands of Armenians exterminated by Turkey during World War I committed suicide.

"I think they all killed themselves. I really do. Why wouldn't they?" Trump remarked.

Over the course of the previous 48 hours, Trump has also endorsed the re-annexation of Montenegro by Serbia and gifted $3 billion to fund the construction of a superhighway in Latvia.

"I'm a fat orange lard who likes to prance around in women's clothing," Trump announced after a teleconference with a group of Serbian leaders. "Also, Bosnia and Croatia are dumb."

Speculated one member of the press: "Wow. Sounds like someone got pooped on in Belgrade."

Read More

    Missing Grandmother Found Living Among Indian's Casino

    HappyNews.com Reporter Kidnapped, Butchered