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Seance: 63 of President Trump's Aborted Children Also Pro-Life
One day after President Trump became the first president to attend the annual March for Life rally in Washington, D.C., 63 of the children he has had aborted declared that they would also be pro-life.
Representing an unknown percentage of the total number of fetuses the president has had aborted during his lifetime, the spirits of the unborn Trump offspring were unanimous in their preference to have been given an opportunity to live during a mass seance in Atlantic City Saturday.
"If my dad was Donald Trump, I would," one of the president's aborted sons responded through a spiritual medium. "Would I have preferred eating filet mignon for breakfast and taking batting practice with the New York Yankees over being aspirated into a biohazardous waste bag? Absolutely."
Another of Trump's would-be children, a girl whose gestation was terminated during her second trimester in 1985, also said that she would have opted to have not been suctioned from her mother's womb.
"Actually, I have some great ideas for a line of women's workout apparel," said the unborn girl. "Or, at least I think I would have."
Asked for comment, a White House spokesperson replied that the idea that Donald Trump would ever consent to a woman having one of his children aborted was, "Ridiculous."
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