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Unpleasant Run Raises 30k for Research to Discover Reason to Live

BOSTON, MA - An Unpleasant Run raised more than $30,000 for research to discover a reason to live this weekend in Boston.

The Boston Secular Humanist Society hosted the event from its Beech Street headquarters, where over 150 people set out on a 5 kilometer-long slog through town.

"It was awful," one participant remarked, "After about 100 feet I was like, what's the point? This is stupid."

Raised through sponsorships for the joggers, the money will be donated to fund what organizers have called the most important cause in the world.

"What good is saving lives if life continues to not have any meaning?" BSHS spokesman Eric Marks queried, "Until we can figure out why we don't all just go jog off a cliff, none of these other fundraising events for cancer research and whatnot are worth a tin shit."

Marks added: "One thing I can tell you it isn't is jogging. What a pain in the ass."

Another runner who finished the course noted: "All I could think about the whole time is it being over so I could drink a bunch of beer, which of course made me feel terribly sick the next day and wish I was dead."

 
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