Online Dating Service Launched for Wives of Iraqi Men Disappeared in US Run Prisons

In a gesture of goodwill, the US occupational authority in Iraq has sponsored the launch of IraqiSingles.com, an online dating service for the wives of Iraqi men who have disappeared into US run prisons there.

According to a recent report, a large fraction of the 10,000 or more men who have vanished from their homes and families that aren't already dead are likely being held without charge or trial in one of the several detention facilities the US operates in Iraq, leading to some sore feelings the Pentagon is eager to assuage.

"Though it's a well known fact that Iraqis are incapable of feeling the same love and affection for their children and spouses as Americans do, the alienation of these ladies over the financial hardship they've had to bear for whatever crimes their husbands were suspected of is understandable, and hopefully this will help," remarked Major General Elliot Mangrove.

Chuck Smith, a marketing representative for Imaginet Designs, the company contracted by the US government to create and host IraqiSingles, summarized the mission of the site.

"Whether their spouses were carted off to some prison somewhere or were simply blown to pieces on the street, there are far too many single people in Iraq who would be better off, and who would help make the country better off, if they found a new partner. This is our objective: to facilitate the consolidation of living, non-abducted singles into new family units that will provide women and men with the financial support, sex and housecleaning they both respectively need."

Although usage stats show the site has not caught on well with actual Iraqis since its inception, likely due in some part to the fact that 92% of the country's occupation doesn't have reliable access to the internet, the US authority here doesn't seem too concerned.

A sullen Senior State Adviser for Iraq commented, "So if it flops, it flops. Everything else does around here. You know, you try to do something nice for these people, but nobody ever notices. Nobody cares. Apparently we just can't do anything right."