Today The Nuclear Bomb, Tomorrow The Wheel? North Korean Scientists Look Ahead

In the heady days following their first successful test of a nuclear weapon, North Korean scientists may now be free to set their sights on reproducing the development of other practical inventions, from the highly useful wheel to the delicious sandwich, sources report.

If rumors emanating from the isolated totalitarian state are accurate, North Koreans may soon realize an alternative to starving and using their feet and backs to move themselves and other things from place to place as the percentage of the nation's scientific community assigned to the pursuit of consummating the bomb has been reduced somewhat from one hundred.

Though wary of revealing too much too quickly to a population largely uneducated in subjects unrelated to Kim Jong-il's greatness who might become overwhelmed by the abrupt awareness of such things as pastrami and cars, the government has begun to carefully allude to the promise of progress a nuclear North Korea could usher in.

"Despite the efforts of our enemies to hold us down, North Korea is a magnificent country that is not only curious, but capable of discovering how things without legs move around, and whether there is anything on Earth to eat other than fermented cabbage," proclaimed Prime Minister Pak Pong-ju.

Predictably, every North Korean on record who doesn't like concentration camps all share a boundless enthusiasm for their country's post-nuke future.

"Our Great Leader is very great," commented one North Korean man, "For years we have lived in fear of being attacked by a foreign power hungry for our vast supplies of cement and fertilizer, but no more. Now that the Great Leader has mastered the great fire we can truly thrive. Hooray."