Mexico Time-Share Violence Rages Out of Control

An explosion of time-share related violence in Mexico has killed thousands of people in the past five days, bringing the ongoing battle between rival agencies for international tourism dollars to bloody new heights.

As the latest spasm of killing spread throughout the country's mostly tropical, coastal destinations, promotional representatives, sales agents, tour guides, activity leaders and innocent bystanders have all been slain. On Thursday, a bomb exploded inside the reception area of Cancun's airport, killing 685 timeshare promoters and 1 Canadian tourist.

The string of grisly attacks since Thursday has included the execution-style killing of six crew members of a pirate ship in Cabo San Lucas, and the firebombing of an indigenous tribal art museum/timeshare sales office in Puerto Vallarta by a rival agency who later claimed that their promise of cash vouchers for the "Rhythm of the Night" romantic cruise and dinner buffet were fraudulent.

Javier Salcido, owner of the Viva Vallarta! tourist agency, which actually has several affordable deals for some lovely sightseeing excursions and jungle tours, denied any hand in the bombing, but expressed little compassion for the deaths of his competitors.

"These people lived like pigs, and they died like pigs," said Salcido.

In an interview printed in newspapers nationwide Monday, President Felipe Calderón directly blamed the United States for the violence.

"The origin of this plague begins with the fact that Mexico is located next to a country full of people who take like, seven vacations a year and are amused by such things as snorkeling and floating around in parachutes behind motorboats," Calderon said, adding sardonically,  "Ooh, look at the pretty fishies! They're all different colors! Whoopty-do!"