Osama Bin Laden Launches Twitter Assault against United States

International terrorist Osama Bin Laden has joined the Twitter revolution, using the online micro-blogging service to launch blistering text-based assaults on President Obama and his management of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, among other things.

"Obama is a puppet of the vile administration that preceded him and will fail in Iraq and Afghanistan for a multitude of reasons-first, his st-", read Bin Laden's first tweet.

Later the same day, bin Laden issued a menacing reprobation of the American people themselves, tweeting: "To the people of America, this is my message to you: From the beginning, we have stated many times that the cause of our disagreement with y-".

Not limiting himself to political and international affairs, Bin Laden also weighed in on current events in the entertainment industry, including the following post regarding rapper Kanye West's disruptive behavior during the MTV Video Music Awards: "Did you see this? Kanye West is a loathsome, vile dog. Hijacking a plane is one thing, but hijacking such a pretty young ladys moment to shi-".

Members of the FBI and web applications experts who've studied Bin Laden's Twitter posts indicate that it is highly probable that he does not know how to use the site properly.

"There's a 140 character maximum on Twitter, figure it out, dude," scoffed IT professional Joel Gibson, "How do you not notice that all your posts are getting cut off? I mean, did Kanye hijack Taylor Swift's moment to shine, or to shit? Tragically, I guess we'll never know."

As of press time, Bin Laden's most recent tweets include a jab at Robert Gates that refers to the US Defense Secretary as a "vile do", and another addressing the abduction of singer Jessica Simpson's dog by a coyote Tuesday, calling the incident "really sad".