November 17, 2004 [home] [contact] [links] [disclaimer] [boycott list]
Bush to World: “Lick My Balls”
If
George W. Bush’s swagger appeared to have intensified a bit directly after his
re-election, it’s since grown to the full blown strut of a man who doesn’t give
a flying fuck as it has become evident that, along with his own victory, the
security that a House and Senate Republican majority provides the President
has impelled him to drop all the inane pretense that so characterized his first
term.
Much unlike the sporadic press conferences Bush conducted during his first four years in office in which he often looked uncomfortable and always dressed in a suit, the President appeared at once enthusiastic and relaxed in a pair of Bermuda shorts and a faded t-shirt featuring a donkey asleep under a tree that read “Spring Break 1992” for his latest meeting with the press.
Bush’s demeanor proved to match his wardrobe when he acknowledged the large crowd of reporters as “Ladies and germs”, and responded to the first question, which was in regards to the death of Palestinian Leader Yasser Arafat, with the flippant remark, “I couldn’t care less about that old sand fly. Is he dead, is he alive? Who gives a shit?”
A short time later Stephen Buckley from the Washington Post asked Bush what level of confidence his administration had in the potential for the upcoming election in Iraq to be fair and safe, to which the President responded with his famous smirk, “Somewhere between zero and one hundred,” as he produced a can of beer from behind the podium, popped the top and took a long pull. Then, when Buckley requested that he be more specific in regard to the election and asked for comment on the beer, Bush belched and replied, “About as much as we had for the ones here a couple weeks back. And I’m drinking beer because it’s still early.”
Bush then lambasted Buckley for violating his new one-question-no-follow-up media stipulation and proclaimed that he would never answer another question from the reporter again unless he posed it while wearing high heels and a pretty blonde wig with a blue bonnet.
The President’s petulance continued to grow steadily throughout the press conference, arguably reaching its peak when he spontaneously declared, “I don’t give a hill of beans what people think anymore because their opinions are no longer relevant. We’re going to do what we feel like when we feel like, and if that entails paying half your tax dollars directly to Halliburton to launch dolphins into space or rigging international elections so that John Ashcroft becomes the next President of Venezuela, who’s to stop us? Because if the rest of the world doesn’t like it, well, they can lick my balls.”
Finished Bush, “Because I’m unimpeachable.
How do you smart-asses like that fancy fifty-cent word?”