New Poll Finds Majority of Americans Now Favor Civil War Over Trans in Sports

A new poll shows that most Americans are now in favor of fighting a second civil war over the issue of trans gender people in sports.

The poll, which found that 54% of its respondents would support armed conflict to determine whether girls who used to be boys should be allowed to play field hockey, also found that 87% of those in favor would still be so even if hostilities led to 'catastrophic loss of life and damage to the nation's economy and infrastructure'."

"Honestly, yes, I would. Have you seen some of these dudes? With their biceps and Adam's apples," one man remarked.

"It's not fair to our girls," the same man went on. "And sure, I say burn the whole f****** down. Let's do this."

Another pair of recent polls found that 51% and 53% of Americans would also favor a civil war over the teaching of Critical Race Theory in schools and black stormtroopers in Star Wars, respectively.

"I'm tired of these people blaming white people for everything that goes wrong in this country," one woman complained. "I say we kill them. Kill them all."